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Marriage Breaker
updated: Sep 15, 2012, 11:30 AM

Dear Edda,

I am a 42 year old man. When I was in my mid-twenties, I met a girl who was in her early twenties who was in a failing, estranged marriage. We had a brief but passionate affair which gave her the strength to finally divorce her husband. Then she moved to Europe and we lost touch.

Until this summer when, out of the blue after 17 years, she found me through Facebook and contacted me again. It turns out, she's in ANOTHER failing estranged marriage, and she wanted to meet with me. So we met and found that we still (or again) have very strong feelings for each other.

Should I now allow a relationship to develop between us, or am I just her go-to guy when her marriages aren't working? It seems we really do love each other as we did back then, and I could see something long-term developing between us, but I don't want to be considered just a "marriage-ender" for her, or a crutch in times of marital crisis. I do believe that both her marriages were doomed before I was even in the picture, but still I have obvious reluctance.

Any thoughts?

The Old Flame


Dear Old Flame,

So you're thinking three (failed marriages) is a charm?


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Edda Hatte is a loving and sympathetic advice columnist who helps Edhat subscribers navigate through their complicated and stressful lives. Send your questions to askedda@edhat.com.


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