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Texting At Lunch
updated: Jul 21, 2012, 3:10 PM

Dear Edda,

Yesterday, I went to lunch with my mom. She always complains that we don't spend enough time together. Well, no sooner did we sit down at the table than she began texting her friend. First it was just a picture of the turtles in the fountain next to the restaurant, and then she had a whole text conversation. She barely even looked up when the waiter came to take our order. This is not the first time. She does this a lot. What should I do the next time?

And They Say Kids Are Rude


Dear Say,

Next time?!? Tell her to go to lunch by herself and text you from the restaurant.


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Edda Hatte is a loving and sympathetic advice columnist who helps Edhat subscribers navigate through their complicated and stressful lives. Send your questions to askedda@edhat.com.

Comments in order of when they were received | (reverse order)

 COMMENT 300082P agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 03:42 PM

If the lunch is free for you, bring a book that you really want to read.


 COMMENT 300085P agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 03:49 PM

Take her picture while she's texting, and text it to her! HeeHee.


 ROGER DODGER agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 04:37 PM

If the Turtle pond is behind her kick her in..


 COMMENT 300108 agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 04:59 PM

Have a heart to heart talk and tell her it hurts your feelings. If she does it again she is being disrespectful and disregarding your feelings and she doesn't deserve to have lunch with her loving daughter.

Have you ever done this to her and maybe this is her way of showing you how it feels? That still doesn't make it right, but families do strange things sometimes.


 COMMENT 300114 agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 05:45 PM

Be real - she's your Mom.

Which does in fact mean that you can be brutally open and honest just like when you were 14.

Tell her point blank that what she is doing is rude and if she doesn't stop RIGHT NOW - you will get up, leave and go get some McNuggets for yourself.

What's she going to do - write you out of the will? ;)


 COMMENT 300117 agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 05:59 PM

I agree with Edda.... tho I find it strange that it's the mom texting and the daughter complaining. It's typically the younger generation addicted to their interface and ignore the face-to-face.


 COMMENT 300125 agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 07:04 PM

It's rude, no matter who it is...


 COMMENT 300127 agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 07:07 PM

Put your earbuds in and crank up the tunes.


 COMMENT 300129P agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 07:17 PM

It's just plain rude no matter how you slice it. I leave my cell in the car for personal socializing. Face to face has great value and so do good manners. No more would I start a conversation with someone face to face and then halt..pick up a book and start reading it. Bad Mom!


 ROGER DODGER agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 07:39 PM

If she was my mom she'd be swimming...


 COMMENT 300142 agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 08:03 PM

My favorite Mom lunch story: we went to Paradise Cafe, seated outside. I forget what I ordered, but her roasted eggplant sandwich looked delicious. When she went to cut into it, a large piece of eggplant jumped out onto the ground. We both looked at it on the floor, glanced at each other, then back down at the food on the floor. She slyly reached down, picked it up, put it back on her plate and commenced to eat, no comment. Yea, verily, it was good. Sure wish I could have lunch with Mom again!


 COMMENT 300145P agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 08:23 PM

Were turtles on the menu? Maybe her texting was asking advice on which one to have for lunch?


 COMMENT 300147 agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 08:56 PM

When my daughter did that to me at lunch once, I just stopped talking mid-sentence, and when she looked up at me, I said, "That's fine, I'll just wait until you're done." She put her phone down and has never done it since.


 COMMENT 300155P agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-21 10:12 PM

300147 - classy way of handling it. And effective.


 COMMENT 300169P agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-22 06:48 AM

Buy one of these (I know it is expensive but it might be worth every dime) and watch everyone around you go nuts including your mom.



 COMMENT 300210 agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-22 09:20 AM

wow, cell phone jammer....i never knew of this.


 COMMENT 300213 agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-22 09:24 AM

Unfortunately good manners have slowly crumbled as technology progresses. Soon we will be at the stage of the cave dweller, when a thump on the head will pass as natural communication. Frustrated by his obvious irritation when I speak to my computer obsessed husband when locked into this machine with earphones clamped to his skull, I found myself passing a note yesterday evening, alerting him dinner was on the table!


 COMMENT 300226 agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-22 09:59 AM

Thanks, 169P. I'm like 210...didn't know. Seems rather cruel, more like a last resort than a first resort. Save it to use on a relative, friend, or neighbor you really DISLIKE.


 COMMENT 300282 agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-22 02:05 PM

The mom sounds very self-entitled to me.


 COMMENT 300308 agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-22 03:18 PM

How about saying to her "Mom, you say we don't spend enough time together, yet now that we are together you're sitting there texting instead of spending your time with me, and it's hardly the first time".

As for all those saying that mom is rude ... what's your point? The OP didn't ask if their mom is rude, and pointing it out provides no help.


 COMMENT 300563P agree helpful negative off topic

2012-07-23 03:36 PM

I would prefer if my mom texted during lunch rather than talk to me actually. But if you want your mommy to pay attention to you ask her if there is some sort of emergency and let her know maybe you should have lunch when she is not so distracted.


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